Feeling Inadequate

In October, I am attending 10-10-10 Convergence: Spirit Into Human in Scottsdale, Arizona. It's recommended that participants attend some pre-seminar events to prepare us for the event and I must admit that I'm having some challenges with the first one. As I listen to the webinar, I'm wondering why in the world did I registered for this event! I can't do this stuff.

This "stuff" involves feeling my own energy, feeling the energy of other participants, locating the Higher Mind, and a whole bunch of "stuff" I just don't feel comfortable with. It's not that I judge it to be wrong or anything like that. I just don't believe I'm the sort of person who can do it. Other people can, but I can't!

This has been a theme throughout my life. Other people can meditate properly, but not me. I don't see brilliant colours, or have incredible experiences the way many people do when they meditate - the way a close friend of mine experiences them. It's taken me a long time to accept that I have other abilities, and that visualizing isn't one of them... or needs to be!

One of the reasons I am this way is my personality type as defined by Rhys Thomas who created the Rhys Method. His Life Purpose Profile Descriptions label me as Knowledgeable Achiever/Rule Keeper/Organizer. My Core Soul Quality is Knowledgeable Achiever, but when I'm in defense (under stress for instance) I tend toward the Rule Keeper/Organizer aspect, which means I become highly self-critical (amongst other things).

In this mode, I look for rules to assist me in accomplishing a task. If someone says "jump 2 feet in the air", then that's what I believe I should do and 1' 9" just won't cut it! So when I'm following instructions to locate my Higher Mind (in the webinar I mentioned above) and I don't "get it" I feel inadequate, that I must be doing something wrong, that I'm not capable of doing it. Even with this knowledge, it's very difficult for me to overcome the idea that other people can do stuff, but I can't.

How do I deal with a situation such as this? I use the one tool that seems to work for me - EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique. Some people call it tapping, or meridian tapping.) I find this really empowers me and I often get greater insights into why I feel the way I do or what I need to do to overcome my resistance. If you're not familiar with EFT, I have more information on my website and I also made a How To video to guide newcomers to this amazing tool.