Peace Through Ho'oponopono

Joe Vitale & Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len

This weeekend will mark the 3rd anniversary of my official introduction to SITH: Self I-dentity Through Ho'oponopono. My course with Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len was one of the major turning points in my own life and one for which I am eternally grateful. [Read an interview with Dr. Hew Len and learn more about ho'oponopono.]

Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian practice which means, "to make right," or "to rectify an error." According to the ancient Hawaiians, error arises from thoughts that are tainted by painful memories from the past. Ho'oponopono offers a way to release the energy of these painful thoughts, or errors, which cause imbalance and disease.

One of the prayers that is practised after each event or day, is the Peace of I.

The Peace Of "I"

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Peace be with you, All My Peace,
The Peace that is " I ", the Peace that is "I am".
The Peace for always, now and forever and evermore.
My Peace " I " give to you, My Peace " I " leave with you,
Not the world's Peace, but, only My Peace,
The Peace of " I ".

When I first heard that prayer, shivers went down my body as I realized that I wasn't responsible for the world's peace (an impossible task from an individual's point of view), but I could be responsible for my own peace.

It was then that I began making peace the focus of my life.

A friend of mine has recently started blogging about the subject at Peace Ripples as she feels as strongly as I do that it's vitally important in this world for each of us to do our own part in creating peace for ourselves.

There are many ways to make peace a priority. One of the main ways is through forgiveness. Another is through gratitude.

I remember a Dr. Phil show about a woman who had many blessings in her life, but who was always discontent. He pointed out everything that she had to be grateful for, which was a lot, and told her to make a list of 100 things she was grafetul for EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH!

I was totally taken aback and wondered how in the world she would accomplish something so difficult, but after thinking about it a while, I decided to challenge myself to do the same exercise. It was not easy - I can tell you. But I managed it. Some things were repeated each day, but very few.

There is so much "bad" news each and every day, and peace looks like the only thing missing when we read the papers or watch TV, but that exercise really opened my eyes to all the things we can be grateful for.

Search for peace in your own life and it will filter into the lives of others. That's the only place where we can start making world peace.

Finally, here's the YouTube video I promised about the Inner Critic EFT Routine!

You can review the words to be repeated in my previous post if you wish. If you're new to EFT, you may not be familiar with the tapping positions so here's a quick overview:

KC: Karate Chop - used for the set-up statement (fleshy part of hand below the small finger). Tap with fingertips of opposite hand.

Tap lightly on the following points with the tips of the index and middle fingers or all your fingers if you wish.

EB: Eyebrow (end of inner eyebrow)
SE: Side of Eye (close to the eye)
UE: Under Eye (immediately below eye)
UN: Under the nose (between upper lip and nose)
CH: Chin (the chin crease)
CB: Collar Bone (about 1" below collar bone & 1"-2" on either side of the throat - use one or both hands)
UA: Under Arm (about 3" below armpit - the bra line for women)
TH: Top of Head (anywhere on the crown of the head)

Some people add the wrist (the crease where the hand meets the arm) before TH.

Personally, I find it best to close my eyes before beginning the routing and think about my Inner Critic and what it says (or whatever subject I'm working on). If there is any emotion connected to it such as sadness or anger, I allow that feeling to come up and I think about it as I'm repeating the set-up statement and the tapping statements.

Often, while doing EFT, thoughts will surface about something that may, or may not, feel as if it's connected to the routine I'm doing. Whatever they are, I make a note of them after completing the round(s) and investigate afterwards. Sometimes it is totally relevant, but you can't see the connection immediately. Whatever it is, you may need to do EFT on that too so don't dismiss it!

Good luck with your Inner Critic!

Empowerment 4 U!

In order to be fully empowered individuals, we must take 100% responsibility for every aspect of our life.

That means evaluating each area: Economic, Personal, Physical and Spiritual empowerment.

To experience Economic Empowerment, we must look at our financial status. If we aren't abundant in this area, we need to figure out what we need to do to change it. Perhaps we should think about changing our vocation if we're not happy where we work, or start a part-time business to bring in extra cash.

To experience Personal Empowerment, we must look at our relationships to see where we may need to make changes. Perhaps we don't have clearly defined boundaries. Perhaps we're unhappy or depressed. Whatever is causing us distress must be investigated and remedied.

To experience Physical Empowerment, we look at our health. Are we fatigued? Is there some ailment that we've been ignoring? Are we suffering from a life-threatening illness? No matter what the experience, we must take responsibility and figure out what we can do to alleviate it. That may mean a visit to the doctor or taking back your own power and exploring the possible mental/emotional causes of your complaint.

To experience Spiritual Empowerment, perhaps we need to establish a habit of meditating each day for 10 - 20 minutes. Maybe we feel that we have lost our connection with Spirit, orwe need to begin feeling gratitude for all the blessings we already have. Repeat the following at every opportunity:

"Thank you God for all the blessings that I have, and all the blessings that I am receiving."

Whatever our life experience, if something isn't what we truly desire or the way we want it to be, then it's our responsiblity to investigate, research, change... whatever needs to be done to alleviate the "symptoms" in our day-to-day life.

Sometimes, drastic changes are required in order to feel our own empowerment.

It isn't always necessary, of course. Often a minor adjustment will provide the changes we seek. But, in my own life, major adjustments have been called for at various times. This can be as big as moving to another country, which I did by moving to Thailand, or moving across the country as I did from Ontario to Alberta (and back two years later), or simply moving house.

I've also changed my JOB on more than one occassion. After operating my own business for seven and a half years, I never did enjoy working for someone else. I tried it, but I was never happy and hated going to work every day. I knew I needed to be my own boss. But that's very scary and not something you can take lightly.
Having my own business was the only way I could have Economic Empowerment. Consequently, network marketing has been a godsend for me and many others like myself who want to change their financial circumstances without risking a fortune in the process. Who has a fortune to risk anyway!

Rarely does empowerment come easily, but if you're not happy with some aspect of your life, empower yourself and change it. My book, Joy Makers: My Tools for Self-Empowerment, has some very simple tools for helping to empower yourself.

For more information on empowerment, go to my weblog at Empowerment For You.

Using EFT to Counter the Inner Critic

As an advocate for self-empowerment, I'm always exploring ways to empower myself personally, physically, economically, and spiritually. I've tried many methods in my search. In the past twenty odd years, I've read hundreds of books, atttended numerous courses, webinars and teleconferences, and followed many mentors as I've discussed on my website.

However, as I've mentioned before, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is one of the most powerful tools I've ever come across - for ALL areas of empowerment mentioned above.

A few days ago, I had a realization (not the first one) that I lacked self-love. You may remember that I tried to say "I love you" to my image in the bathroom mirror and later in the day came across an email from Margaret Lynch which included a routine to counter The Inner Critic. I also promised to share the EFT routine with you.

I was planning to record a video on it, but that will have to come later as I spent some time with two of my daughters yesterday. We went out for a meal, then saw Eat, Pray Love - a great movie and an even greater book by Elizabeth Gilbert. But I will at least share the written routine. If you're familiar with EFT, you can tap along yourself, but if you're not, then I'll provide a video of it in the near future when I have a bit more time.

Dr. Joe’s Rubino’s Insights – EFT Tapping Routine for The Inner Critic

Karate chop point:
Even though I have this huge inner critic that works on me day and night, I honor and accept myself. It’s okay, it’s just a part of me.
Even though I have this continual voice in my ear from my inner critic And sometimes it’s really nasty, it’s okay. Observing it is progress for me!

Even though I have a big inner critic that is often ruthless in beating me up, I honor that a deeper part of me is calling me to observe this critical voice because it’s time to let it go quietly into the past.
Tapping through the points in any way you like:

My inner critic tells me I am no good
My inner critic always says, “Could have been better”
My inner critic tells me I am a loser
Wow, it’s pretty ruthless
My inner critic criticizes me before anyone else has a chance to
My inner critic tells me it’s safer to be invisible
My inner critic talks me out of standing out and taking a risk
My inner critic stops my own voice, my own truth, from coming out
Wow, it has a lot of power! I guess I gave it that power.
My inner critic really guilts me!
My inner critic remembers the past and reviews my mistakes for me
My inner critic really DOES live in the past and just won’t let it go!
Wow, that is really, really helpful!
My inner critic keeps me down, alone, a slave, scared, worthless
Maybe it has taken over for my parents
Maybe it is trying to keep me safe
Or maybe it just pain, sadness and disappointment. Stuck!

It’s okay, I am observing it now
And feeling the loss
All these years of listening to this critic
A recording playing in my head
Just like it was the God’s honest truth
Assuming I deserved to hear it, feel it
But it was just a recorded loop, a thought pattern
It’s okay, as I observe it, I now see and feel it is not all of me
Just a virtual part of me that I have practiced.
As I see that, it is already weakening
Because the real me, my soul, is eternal and whole and perfect
My soul has NEVER been anything but perfect and loved and whole
so as I observe my inner critic
I am now open to the gifts of my soul
I need help with this one!

I am so grateful to step up in consciousness
And observe my inner critic
I am so grateful to the wiser, stronger, older part of me
That loves me so much
It has brought me this healing moment!

Good luck with your Inner Critic! You can always count on EFT to help in every situation, no matter what the problem may be. I'll record a video on how to do this routine in the near future.

Using EFT for Self-Empowerment

One of the most amazing self-empowerment tools I have ever encountered is EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique or tapping as it's sometimes called). There are many reasons why I enjoy using EFT:

• It can be used by anybody - it isn't necessary to go to a practitioner for treatment.
• It's available whenever it's needed 24/7.
• There's no cost outlay - it's completely free to learn.
• It's very simple to use.
• It cannot be done the 'wrong' way.
• It's based on ancient Chinese knowledge utilizing acupressure points or meridians.
• There's no limit to its use. It can be used on mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual challenges.

I've written about EFT before, but for those who are new to it, let me explain a little about why it is my favourite self-empowerment tool. I first learned about EFT about three and a half years ago. Even then I recognized the value of it as a self-empowerment tool, but it wasn't until about one year ago that I fully understood the extent of its use and started using it seriously.

Some time ago, I was introduced to Nick and Jessica Ortner who founded Use It On Everything - a site dedicated to promoting the benefits of EFT. This site eventually changed to The Tapping Solution designed around a wonderful DVD made by Nick and his associates by the same name. The DVD is endorsed by many well-known individuals including Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, Bruce Lipton, Dr. Mercola and many others.

Since the DVD was introduced, The Tapping Insiders Club opened which gives members access to an array of tapping routines, interviews with EFT experts, etc. I am a member myself and there's a wealth of information for anyone interested in self-empowerment.

They say knowledge is power and knowledge of the self is self-empowerment!

You may remember my post about looking in the mirror and not being able to love myself. As a self-empowered individual, I wasn't content to simply accept that experience. It was necessary for me to do something about it. What did I do? I did EFT!

As it happens, I had an email in my Inbox from a wonderful EFT expert, Margaret Lynch who created The Secret of Intentional Wealth program based on EFT (an absolutely wonderful system I endorse without any hesitation). I was introduced to Margaret through the Tapping Insiders Club. I had seen the email, but being rather busy, I had not read it. After my experience in the bathroom, I was inspired to take a further look at the email and what I discovered was truly amazing.

Margaret's email was about self-esteem and a program by Dr. Joe Rubino. She also included an EFT routine to address the Inner Critic! That's exactly what I needed at that moment and I immediately went through the routine. Later I shared it with some friends I met later in the day and we all found it very helpful.

In my next post, I will explain more about the Inner Critic routine and will try to make a video for you where you can tap along. I'm dedicated to sharing anything that will empower the individual and I find EFT to be the perfect technique for self-empowerment.

Do You Love Yourself When You Look In The Mirror?

It all started this morning while I was waiting for my shower to reach the perfect temperature. There I was, standing infront of the mirror, trying to say 'I love you' to my image. It just wasn't happening!

Why is it so difficult to love our self? Why are we so self-critical?

The reasons are numerous. There are probably as many reasons why we don't love our self as there are people in this world. However, there are a few that are common to all of us. One of the major reasons can be blamed on the environment we grew up in.

The big people we were surrounded with had certain expectations of us. If we didn't meet those expectations then we were often punished. Our natural reaction to this punishment was to blame our self. Children blame themselves for everything. They automatically believe they aren't lovable because they know nothing about conditional or unconditional love at this young age. As children, we ARE love. It is our natural state of being. Unfortunately, it doesn't take us long to learn that we have to behave a certain way if we want to be loved.

We learn to speak to our parents (and other grown-ups) at the appropriate time; to eat our meals a certain way; to follow directions exactly; to never answer back (that was very important in my childhood); to meet various milestones dictated by child-rearing authorities; etc., etc., etc. The list is endless.

It may differ from family to family, but the message is the same, "Do as I want and expect you to and I will love you. Don't do things the right way and I will withdraw my love."

This may not have been spoken out loud, but our parent's anger (and subsequent punishment) when we didn't do something the right way was proof enough of the statement. Even a disapproving look was enough to stop me in my tracks! My sister and I were discussing this one day. We even utilized 'the look' on our own children because it was very effective. It definitely prevented situations from developing that may have been cause for harsher consequences. But did it help our children to love themselves? I think not.

To be fair, this was the only way our parents knew how to act. This is exactly the lesson they learned when they were children. It's not much of a consolation, but they, too, don't love themselves any more than we do.

So Many Reasons To Be Grateful

My daughter visited with Faraday, my grand-daughter, yesterday. What a joy she is! I've never seen a child who is more aware of her surroundings and wanting to see everything that's going on around her... and she's only just over 6 months old!

Not only is she very inquisitive, she can walk holding onto an adult's thumbs! I really shouldn't be surprised as her mother was an early walker and Faraday is built very much like her - very petite and fine-boned.

When I really think about my own surroundings compared to many places in the world, I cannot help but be grateful - not only for my beautiful grand-children (there are four now) who are all healthy - but for everything in my life.

I was reading the P'taah Message this morning and one of the questions was about genetically modified food and it's affect on us. P'taah very quickly pointed out that even though genetically engineered food is not a benefit to us, it is what it is and change has already begun as a result. What I understand from the Message is, if we can eat non-altered food, then that is probably best, but regardless, we need to be grateful for the nourishment our food provides.

Humankind has interefered with Nature and that, as we've discovered many times, is often disastrous. We do not need to fear the changes that may ensue from what we have done on this Earth as everything is ALWAYS perfect. This is a subject that interests me greatly and I've written about it in my article: Present Perfect , in fact, I have a book about it on the back burner just waiting for my attention!

Until I get to that writing, I will continue to count myself priviledged to live where I do. There are so many less fortunate and, besides, I look out onto this beautiful view. My patio is not very large, but behind it is a small woodlot which attracts all sorts of birds. And who wouldn't be grateful for that!

Is FEAR YourMotivator

There are many reasons why we feel motivated to do something. As a student, we may need to complete a course to obtain certification or a degree so we are motivated to study. Obviously, when we're adults, we need to generate an income to pay for our living expenses so we are motivated to do something (sometimes ANYTHING) that will provide us with the necessary cash. It's that "ANYTHING" that creates problems for us.

I'm sure we all know people who are willing to spend 40+ hours each week doing something they absolutely hate - just for the pay-cheque at the end of the week or the month. Why would anyone do that? Maybe they need to maintain a standard of living they've become accustomed to. Perhaps they need to work that many hours to cover the minimum cost of living.

No matter our "reasons" for what we do, the ultimate is always Fear. The fear may be disguised as family obligation, or responsibility, or dedication, or even greed, but fear is still the basis. Let me explain.

One of my biggest challenges in this life has been money - or the lack of it! This has been a major motivator for me and led me to do things that didn't always serve me. I seemed to manage to convince myself that "this is the answer" when I was introduced to a new network marketing business, for instance. I told myself, "Everyone else is making a ton of money with it so why shouldn't I? I'm as good as they are (ha-ha). I'll work hard and study and learn, and I, too, will make money and pay off my debt." It never worked! I just got deeper into debt. Can you imagine what that did to my self-esteem?

It took me years to figure out what I was doing wrong. It took a great deal of inner reflection to understand that with all my attempts to make money, I was trying to solve a problem - the problem of not having enough money and my accumulating debt. I learned that wanting to make money is NOT a good motivator. It never has been and it never will.

Why is that? you may ask. The answer is: DOING ANY THING TO SOLVE ANY PROBLEM IS ALWAYS BASED IN FEAR. It may be the fear that we will be left homeless, that we or our family will starve, or a really big one, that we will be judged by others (and our self) as not enough. We all fear that to some degree of another. There are very few people in this world who can honestly say, "I am enough"... and mean it.

Society generally judges hard work as a positive thing (even greed is often secretly admired if the person is wealthy), but the problem is that we're not living authentic lives. We may work all the hours God gave us, but if we're not passionate about what we do, then we can never reach our full potential.

In 2004 I wrote a book titled Joy Makers: My Tools for Self-Empowerment. Even then I subconsciously knew what I was passionate about, but I ignored it and got sidetracked doing all sorts of other things - particularly network marketing.

Please understand, I'm definitely NOT against network marketing. In fact, like Donald Trump and Robert Kiyosaki, I believe that it's by far the easiest and cheapest way for individuals to empower themselves financially and become financially free as the business start-up costs are so low. Right now, I am an Associate with Amega - one of many network marketing companies with integrity. A great deal of money can be made with companies such as Amega, but the only people who are successful are those who are truly passionate about what they're doing.

The "need" for that pay cheque may force us to work at jobs that are anything but fulfilling. If we ignore our passions, we will never be truly happy. But if we can identify our passion, THAT will be the true motivator that leads to a joy-full, authentic and creative life. One tool that helped me to realize my passion was Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood's book The Passion Test: The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Life Purpose. It's a really good starting point if you would like to make some changes to your own life and start using passion as your motivator.

The Birth Cycle of a Life Experience: Changing Our Experience

A couple of days ago, I posted about the Birth Cycle of a Life Experience and promised to expand on the subject. Yesterday, we looked Beliefs and now I'd like to discuss the process for changing our Life Experience. Take another look at the diagram to familiarize yourself with the Cycle.

To begin changing a life experience, we must start at the beginning of the Cycle by consciously thinking different thoughts. These can’t be the “wishing and wanting” type of thoughts – there must be at least a grain of truth in them in order for us to initiate a new Belief. But even a grain of truth is sufficient to change our reality.


Thinking about having something while, at the same time, feeling doubtful will never work. The thought must be accompanied by a positive emotion. The more you're able to feel the emotion the better and the sooner the belief will change. Let me give you a simple example:

For many, many years, I was plagued by “there’s never enough money.” That was my Belief and that was therefore my Life Experience. Whenever I fed my cats and noticed that the bag was getting near empty, I panicked because it meant that some time in the near future I would have to find $25 to buy more cat food. There were many other Life Experiences that upheld my Belief that “there’s never enough money,” but not being able to buy cat food became symbolic for me.

I was acutely aware that I needed to change my Conscious Thoughts in order to change my Belief and thereby change my Life Experience. I’ve known about the Cycle for a long time, but somehow I hadn’t been able to make the change. I knew WHAT needed to be done, but I hadn’t been able to figure out HOW - despite many attempts at various methods.

It’s hard for me to pinpoint when the change actually took place, but one day I did have enough money to buy cat food without any undue stress. Somehow, there was a shift within me and from that moment on, I held on tightly to the Belief that if it happened once, then it could happen again. I became confident that I would always be able to buy cat food whenever it was needed. In fact, I actually became grateful whenever I fed my cats! That was the positive emotion that accompanied my thoughts. It has been many months since the change and I still have a moment of gratitude every time I fill their bowl.

The strangest thing happened about the same time. I suddenly started to receive money from all sorts of unexpected sources. It was a miracle! Now, I can honestly say that I always have enough money and my “never enough” days are finally past.

As I said, I had been using various methods to change my Beliefs and therefore my reality, but I believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) was responsible for the reversal of my Belief. I’m sure the other things I tried didn’t do any harm, but it was EFT that finally swung the pendulum and I will be eternally grateful for being shown this amazing tool.

If EFT is new to you, then you can learn more about it and view the video I made about how to use it. It's very short and very simple to use, and the results can often be nothing short of miraculous.

The Birth of a Life Experience: What Are Beliefs?

Yesterday, I posted about my concept of the Birth Cycle of a Life Experience and explained how Conscious Thoughts become Beliefs. I think it's important to examine what beliefs are because we can get really hung up on what we believe. Throughout history crusades have been fought based on someone's beliefs. People have been persecuted because another person held different beliefs, and we don't have to look very far to see it continuing in the world today.

Bruce DiMarsico, the creator of The Option Method, explains beliefs beautifully, “A belief is assuming something to be true, to be a fact. A belief is not caused, it is created by choice. A belief about a thing’s existence is not the same as its existence.” Beliefs are, in fact, totally subjective depending on the life experiences of the believer.

For argument's sake, take a boy who grows up in a home where the father believes all Italians are lazy. (This is just an example so please don't get upset if you're Italian.) What do you think are the chances that the child will believe the same thing? It's simply  belief that the father held: something that he was probably exposed to at some point in his life. Maybe HIS father thought all Italians were lazy. Maybe he met an Italian who WAS lazy and he detemined that ALL Italians are that way and tarred them with the same brush. Hopefully, the child will get to know Italians at some point in his life and change that belief, but until then, he's stuck with that beleif.

Having a thought doesn't make a beleif true. As Bruce DoMarsico says, it's a choice. We can choose to change a belief by changing our thoughts. Not That's where the problem lies. I'll get to that tomorrow. In the meantime, contemplate the following: "...all problems are beliefs, and in reality exist only in the mind of the person." - Walter C. Lanyon in London Notes and Lectures.

The Birth of a Life Experience

The following is part of an article I recently wrote. I will continue to discuss this subject in upcoming posts.

The Cycle begins with one Conscious Thought. Often it's erroneous, but that makes no difference. The Cycle has begun!

If that thought is impressed on us enough times; if we hear it often enough from parents, family, peers, teachers, religious leaders, the media, etc.; or if the thought corroborates another subconscious thought we already hold, that Conscious Thought becomes a Belief. The Belief is accepted by our Subconscious Mind as a Fact. Whether it’s true or not is totally irrelevant… it becomes our Truth. There are literally thousands – and some say millions! – of such beliefs stored as Truths or Memories in our Subconscious Mind.

The Subconscious Mind is our faithful servant. Immediately upon accepting a Belief, our Subconscious Mind sets about manifesting events or experiences (on an energetic level through the Law of Attraction) which support or mirror that Belief, and we eventually have Life Experiences that corroborate it.

The Law of Attraction states: That which is like unto itself, is drawn. This means that if we hold the Belief that it’s difficult to make a lot of money, then that is exactly what our experience will be. The Subconscious Mind guarantees it. Like a magnet, we will attract the circumstances, people and experiences to support it. The exterior events in our life will confirm that it is, indeed, difficult to make a lot of money.

When our Belief  is “difficulty making a lot of money,” we see evidence through our life experiences that we are correct. This “proof” reinforces our Belief, which perpetuates the Cycle. Our Subconscious Mind continues to manifest experiences and events in our life that confirm, over and over, that it’s difficult to make a lot of money!

Life continues to demonstrate our Beliefs time after time after time… until something changes. The “something” that must change is our belief system. Only by replacing our Belief “it’s difficult to make a lot of money,” can we ever experience anything different.

Granted, this isn’t easy to do when everything around us screams that it IS difficult to make a lot of money. We may work hard and long because “everyone says” that’s what we must do (another Belief); we can work every hour God gave us; we can want to change our reality all we want; we can repeat affirmations over and over; we can pray; we can curse; we can wish; but if we hold a Belief contrary to what we say we want, nothing will change.

Feeling Inadequate

In October, I am attending 10-10-10 Convergence: Spirit Into Human in Scottsdale, Arizona. It's recommended that participants attend some pre-seminar events to prepare us for the event and I must admit that I'm having some challenges with the first one. As I listen to the webinar, I'm wondering why in the world did I registered for this event! I can't do this stuff.

This "stuff" involves feeling my own energy, feeling the energy of other participants, locating the Higher Mind, and a whole bunch of "stuff" I just don't feel comfortable with. It's not that I judge it to be wrong or anything like that. I just don't believe I'm the sort of person who can do it. Other people can, but I can't!

This has been a theme throughout my life. Other people can meditate properly, but not me. I don't see brilliant colours, or have incredible experiences the way many people do when they meditate - the way a close friend of mine experiences them. It's taken me a long time to accept that I have other abilities, and that visualizing isn't one of them... or needs to be!

One of the reasons I am this way is my personality type as defined by Rhys Thomas who created the Rhys Method. His Life Purpose Profile Descriptions label me as Knowledgeable Achiever/Rule Keeper/Organizer. My Core Soul Quality is Knowledgeable Achiever, but when I'm in defense (under stress for instance) I tend toward the Rule Keeper/Organizer aspect, which means I become highly self-critical (amongst other things).

In this mode, I look for rules to assist me in accomplishing a task. If someone says "jump 2 feet in the air", then that's what I believe I should do and 1' 9" just won't cut it! So when I'm following instructions to locate my Higher Mind (in the webinar I mentioned above) and I don't "get it" I feel inadequate, that I must be doing something wrong, that I'm not capable of doing it. Even with this knowledge, it's very difficult for me to overcome the idea that other people can do stuff, but I can't.

How do I deal with a situation such as this? I use the one tool that seems to work for me - EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique. Some people call it tapping, or meridian tapping.) I find this really empowers me and I often get greater insights into why I feel the way I do or what I need to do to overcome my resistance. If you're not familiar with EFT, I have more information on my website and I also made a How To video to guide newcomers to this amazing tool.

Putting Yourself First

Many  people from my generation (and even the younger generation although I don't believe it's as prevalent), have a big problem putting themselves first. We were taught by our parents and other authority figures that it was selfish to put our own needs before those of others. However, I have learned that this simply doesn't serve us.

The big difference that makes it OK to be 'selfish' is when we choose to put self first - for the sake of others. We cannot give from an empty cup so it's vitally important that we fill our own first by doing what is in our own best interest. Mothers know how easy it is to keep doing, doing, doing for others, but neglecting their own needs. They start to feel resentful! Fathers often feel that they're working their butts off to keep food on the table and a roof over their family's head, but if they never have time for their own interests, they too start to feel resentful.

If we are to be empowered individuals, then it's imperative that we do what's best for our self. If we don't, then we run the risk of eventually burning out and becoming sick. This is a complex subject and one that would take far too much space here, but I was just watching a video from The Lightworker Evolution Centre entitled Self First vs Selfish which explains the implications in far better detail than I can.

I know that there have been times in my life when I have made decisions that were for me alone. It was a scary way for me to act as I felt I had responsibilities that didn't marry well with those decisions. But, for my own peace of mind, it was necessary for me to make them and I have never regretted it.

It's not always easy to put yourself before others, but eventually people come to respect you for doing so - at least that's been my experience. At first, others will try and manipulate you to be the person you were before you made 'selfish' decisions. After all, that's the person they're familiar with and they feel comfortable around. You were predictable and you toed the line. They don't recognize this new empowered individual so it's understandable that they want the 'old you' back.

Don't give in to them! Stand your ground! You have a right to live your life the way YOU want and it's up to the other person(s) to live their own life the way they choose.

It's Great to be Close to Family!

Today is my grand-daughter's 11th birthday. Many Happy Returns, Bryna!

Our family always makes a point of celebrating each member's birthday - not just the kids, but everyone. We get together either on or close to the Big Day as a family: myself, my three daughters and their respective partners, and the grand-kids.

I'm very fortunate to live close to my three daughters. The farthest away is a 35-minute drive. It hasn't always been that way. Not so long ago we all lived many miles from each other. I was in Edmonton, Alberta, my eldest daughter lived in Southern Ontario, my youngest daughter in Northern Ontario, and my middle daughter in Oregon.

Needless to say, we didn't see each other for quite a while and I actually missed Bryna's birth as I wasn't able to go to Ontario for almost 5 months. After that, we gradually moved to the same city over a fairly short period of time and we've lived close to each other for about 6 years now.

My sister has two sons and they both live across the Atlantic in Ireland. I know it's difficult for her to have them so far away, but she makes the best of it and spends the time between visits planning their next trip.

When I think about it, I'm even more grateful to be close to my little family. We will be getting together at King's Buffet this evening and, as usual, we'll enjoy each other's company.

Life really is good and I'm recognizing that more as more as the years pass by.

Stir the Pot: Do Something Different

Normally I prefer to write in the morning, but the past two mornings I've had meetings and didn't have time to post. Now, here I am, unable to sleep and writing at night.

It feels kinda weird, but I think it's important to change our habits once in a while. Humans tend to get into routines and stick to doing things at a particular time of day, or in a particular way. We are creatures of habit. There's nothing wrong with that, I guess, but I know that I need to "stir the pot" every so often and do the unexpected.

Some things can't be avoided at certain times of the day - like going to and from work, for instance. I haven't done that for a very long time as I explained in an article on my website titled Anyaa's Story. It's one of my Life Reflections where I share a lot of personal information about how I got to where I am.

When I had a regular JOB (Just Over Broke), one of the ways I used to change it up a little was to drive to work by different routes. It's amazing how refreshing that can be. I rarely used the same route two days in a row. You can discover a lot of amazing things when you go off the beaten track a little - or just go somewhere different once in a while. I highly recommend it.

"Enjoyment" Today... "Enthusiasm" Tomorrow

I'm feeling soooooooooooo much better today. I was even able to keep my date with Leslie this morning (that's Leslie Sansone and her Walk Away The Pounds - Power Mile DVD) and actually feel Enjoyment! That would have been impossible yesterday.

Eckhart Tolle says if you can't do something with Acceptance, Enjoyment or Enthusiasm, then you shouldn't do it. Usually, I do my exercises with Enthusiasm, but I figured Enjoyment was good enough for today!

Yesterday, I was in the throes of a cold and feeling very sorry for myself. I didn't have the energy to do anything so most of the day was spent lounging on the couch watching TV. But I did manage to summon enough energy to wand my head with my Amega Wand for more than an hour.

By the time bedtime rolled around, I felt considerable relief in my sinuses and my headache was almost gone. I felt much clearer and was able to sleep without a wad of tissues under my nose ;).

How Can I "ACCEPT" A Cold?

I have a cold! There's no getting away from it. My first clue was a sore throat, then the sneezing, then the drippy nose. My sinuses are full, my head aches, my nose is red and sore, and my ribs hurt from all the constant sneezing. Since I don't seem to do well with cold "medications" (they make me hyper) I really don't have any alternative than to suffer through it. Or do I?

In the book A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle says"... whenever you are engaged in doing anything at all... if you are not in the state of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm... you will find that you are creating suffering for yourself..." He calls these the modalities of awakened doing so he's really speaking about actions, but I'm sure it applies equally to anything in our life situation.

So there it is. I'm creating suffering for myself! As if the cold wasn't enough! But what are my choices? Enjoyment and enthusiasm are definitely out of the question. I'm sorry, but they just don't work for me. But acceptance - can I accept my current situation?

I know that this too shall pass. In a couple of days, this will be behind me and I won't even be able to remember how I felt. Oh, the words will be there, but have you noticed how difficult it is to recall exactly how you felt? It's impossible. You may sympathize with how I'm feeling, but you cannot empathize... and it's not your fault. It's a bit like labour pains, we remember that it hurt like hell, but we can't recreate the feelings. And who would want to?

Inspirational Quotes

A friend and I are working on a top secret project. We're compiling a book of quotes for a person who shall remain nameless :).

I have been collecting quotes from various sources for several years. Every time I see something that I find interesting or inspiring, I add it to the end of my file. It's grown considerable over the years and I've drawn on it for articles I've written and other occasions.

The only problem was that they weren't organized so I spent almost two days recently converting the text to a three-column table with the author's name, the quote, and the source. It was a long and frustrating job, but well worth it. Now, my quotes are sorted by the author (which enabled me to identify duplicates), and it's much easier to view.

Quotes can definitely be inspiring and empowering. A couple of my favourites are:

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. Carl Jung - Paraphrased

People are like tea bags. They don't know their own strength until they get into hot water. Dan McKinnon

It is difficult to live in the present, ridiculous to live in the future, and impossible to live in the past. Nothing is as far away as one minute ago. Jim Bishop

There are lots more where these came from. Some are even humorous. Maybe I'll sprinkle a few in my upcoming blogs!

An Empowered MS Patient

A very good friend of my youngest daughter was diagnosed with MS more than 12 years ago. Except for a short remission while she was pregnant, her health has steadily declined over the years. At 32, she had great difficulty going up stairs and she and her husband had to move to a bungalow.

During all this time, Angela has held a firm belief that there would be a cure for her condition IN HER LIFETIME! Last November she heard about the Liberation Treatment where stents are inserted into blocked veins to improve blood circulation to the brain. Many MS patients had experienced remarkable improvements after the operation... not everyone, but many.

Who wouldn't want an opportunity to improve their life? Angela certainly did and immediately put her name on the list IN POLAND, because, unfortunately, the operation isn't available in her home province of Ontario. The government stubbornly refuses to even research it!

Despite financial hardship, Angela recently had the operation and wept for two days when she was able to stand on her tiptoes, to stand on one leg, to walk up stairs without difficulty, and when she returned home, she was able to carry her two-year old son WHILE WALKING - something she hadn't been able to do before the operation.

This beautiful wife and mother took control of her own life and, against all odds, did something for herself that has improved her life beyond her wildest dreams. Now that's self-empowerment!

Back in the saddle

It's been quite a while since I posted, but my time has been well spent revamping my website amongst others things. I've also been writing articles and I've developed a monthly newsletter - Tips, Tools and Techniques for Self-Empowerment!

There have been many occasions when I considered posting, such as the time I watched a commercial on TV for a hands-free soap dispenser. Can anyone please tell me why we would want to use a hands-free model? Isn't the whole idea of using soap to wash away germs? So who cares if there are germs on the pump Why in heaven's name would you want to avoid a 'germy' pump? Do companies think we're stupid or something? I just don't get it.

There are many instances in our lives such as this and I believe the majority of people need to think more for themselves. Perhaps it would save them from spending money on useless gadgets such as hands-free soap dispensers!

Is Life Ever Just Right?

People complain about everything. Nothing is ever right. It seems there's always too much or too little.

Take farmers for instance. A recent TV news item reported that local farmers are concerned about the current early spring conditions in Ontario (we're experiencing temperatures that we don't normally get for another month) and the fact that a frost could severely affect the harvest this year causing food prices to soar.

With all due respect, farmers, we constantly hear it's either too hot or too cold; too wet or too dry; too sunny or too cloudy; too early or too late. Are conditions ever right for you?

But farmers aren't the only ones. We all grumble about our life. We're too young or too old; we have kids or we don't; we don't have time or we have too much; we don't have the money or… hey, I've never heard anyone complain that they have too much money!

Seriously, can't we ever accept whatever "IS"? Life is so short and complaining about something, especially when we can't do anything about it, is such a waste of time.

I have a little more to say on this subject in an article titled Present Perfect.

How Seniors Have F-U-N Rapping!

Some friends and I have entered a video contest. We had a tremendous amount of fun making it and, for a first effort, it's not "terrible." You can see for yourself on YouTube and see four senior citizens rapping!

Since this is a contest, the number of views on YouTube is very important, so please pass the link to your family, friends and other contacts!

Enjoy!

A Woman's Heart Attack Experience

The following is an explanation of a heart attack (myocardial infarction) experienced by a woman and how it differs to a man's symptoms. I received it by email from a friend and want to share it as it was an eye-opener for me!

A NURSE'S HEART ATTACK EXPERIENCE

Did you know that women rarely have the same dramatic symptoms that men have when experiencing heart attack: you know, the sudden stabbing pain in the chest, the cold sweat, grabbing the chest & dropping to the floor that we see in the movies. Here is the story of one woman's experience with a heart attack.

'I had a heart attack at about 10:30 PM with NO prior exertion, NO prior emotional trauma that one would suspect might've brought it on. I was sitting all snugly & warm on a cold evening, with my purring cat in my lap, reading an interesting story my friend had sent me, and actually thinking, 'A-A-h, this is the life, all cozy and warm in my soft, cushy Lazy Boy with my feet propped up.

A moment later, I felt that awful sensation of indigestion, when you've been in a hurry and grabbed a bite of sandwich and washed it down with a dash of water, and that hurried bite seems to feel like you've swallowed a golf ball going down the esophagus in slow motion and it is most uncomfortable. You realize you shouldn't have gulped it down so fast and needed to chew it more thoroughly and this time drink a glass of water to hasten its progress down to the stomach. This was my initial sensation---the only trouble was that I hadn't taken a bite of anything since about 5:00 p.m.

After it seemed to subside, the next sensation was like little squeezing motions that seemed to be racing up my SPINE (hind-sight, it was probably my aorta spasming), gaining speed as they continued racing up and under my sternum (breast bone, where one presses rhythmically when administering CPR).

This fascinating process continued on into my throat and branched out into both jaws. 'AHA!! NOW I stopped puzzling about what was happening -- we all have read and/or heard about pain in the jaws being one of the signals of an MI happening, haven't we? I said aloud to myself and the cat, Dear God, I think I'm having a heart attack!

I lowered the footrest dumping the cat from my lap, started to take a step and fell on the floor instead. I thought to myself, If this is a heart attack, I shouldn't be walking into the next room where the phone is or anywhere else ... but, on the other hand, if I don't, nobody will know that I need help, and if I wait any longer I may not be able to get up in a moment.

I pulled myself up with the arms of the chair, walked slowly into the next room and dialled the Paramedics ... I told her I thought I was having a heart attack due to the pressure building under the sternum and radiating into my jaws. I didn't feel hysterical or afraid, just stating the facts. She said she was sending the Paramedics over immediately, asked if the front door was near to me, and if so, to unbolt the door and then lie down on the floor where they could see me when they came in.

I unlocked the door and then laid down on the floor as instructed and lost consciousness as I don't remember the medics coming in, their examination, lifting me onto a gurney, getting me into their ambulance, or hearing the call they made to St. Jude ER on the way. But I did briefly awaken when we arrived and saw that the Cardiologist was already there in his surgical blues and cap, helping the medics pull my stretcher out of the ambulance. He was bending over me asking questions (probably something like 'Have you taken any medications?') but I couldn't make my mind interpret what he was saying, or form an answer, and nodded off again, not waking up until the Cardiologist and partner had already threaded the teeny angiogram balloon up my femoral artery into the aorta and into my heart where they installed 2 side by side stints to hold open my right coronary artery.

'I know it sounds like all my thinking and actions at home must have taken at least 20-30 minutes before calling the Paramedics, but actually it took perhaps 4-5 minutes before the call, and both the fire station and St. Jude are only minutes away from my home. My Cardiologist was already to go to the OR in his scrubs and get going on restarting my heart (which had stopped somewhere between my arrival and the procedure) and installing the stints.

'Why have I written all of this with so much detail? Because I want all of you who are so important in my life to know what I learned first hand.'

1. Be aware that something very different is happening in your body - not the usual men's symptoms but inexplicable things happening (until my sternum and jaws got into the act). It is said that many more women than men die of their first (and last) MI because they didn't know they were having one and commonly mistook it as indigestion, took some Maalox or other anti-heartburn preparation and went to bed, hoping they'd feel better in the morning when they wake up ... which doesn't happen. My female friends, your symptoms might not be exactly like mine, so I advise you to call the Paramedics if ANYTHING  unpleasant is happening that you've not felt before. It is better to have a 'false alarm' visitation than to risk your life guessing what it might be!

2. Note that I said 'Call the Paramedics.' And if you can, take an aspirin. Ladies, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE! Do NOT try to drive yourself to the ER - you are a hazard to others on the road. Do NOT have your panicked husband who will be speeding and looking anxiously at what's happening with you instead of the road. Do NOT call your doctor -- he doesn't know where you live and if it's at night you won't reach him anyway, and if it's daytime, his assistants (or answering service) will tell you to call the Paramedics. He doesn't carry the equipment in his car that you need to be saved! The Paramedics do, principally OXYGEN that you need ASAP. Your Dr. will be notified later.

3. Don't assume it couldn't be a heart attack because you have a normal cholesterol count. Research has discovered that a cholesterol elevated reading is rarely the cause of an MI (unless it's unbelievably high and/or accompanied by high blood pressure). MIs are usually caused by long-term stress and inflammation in the body, which dumps all sorts of deadly hormones into your system to sludge things up in there. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we could survive.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this information sends it to 10 people, you can be sure that we'll save at least one life.

The Passion Test

One of the gifts I received for Christmas was a book titled The Passion Test: The Effortless Path to Discovering Your Destiny by Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood.  What a wonderful way to begin the new year!

In order to be, do or have what we desire, we must first be VERY clear about what we want to be, do, or have. The Passion Test is the perfect tool for defining exactly what is most important to us, what we feel most passion for, what our true desires are.

The book takes you through the steps to identify your passions and narrow down the five most important in your life at this particular time. Passions may change over time, but the test is only concerned with the present moment. These aren't goals which you wish to achieve over the next one, two or five years, but the things that ignite your passion and enables you to fulfill our goals.

The surprising thing for me when I did the test was that what I thought I was passionate about wasn't what I thought it was!

You can find out how passionate you are, where your blocks are, and what you need to do by taking The Passion Test Profile. It doesn't cost anything so I urge you to try it for yourself and begin 2010 with a clear idea of what turns YOU on; what fulfills you and enables you to achieve your dreams.